The question was posed at church this Sunday: Which of my desires cause freedom? Which of my desires leads to slavery?
We live in a world with a prominent theology that says, “Freedom means doing whatever you want, whenever you want”. Even though reality is entirely opposite- this type of thinking prevails. Every time I would go to diet, I struggled with the following verse from Matthew 25:
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?
Is tracking my food leading to freedom or am I enslaved to MyFitnessPal and my food choices by the drudgery that is weighing, measuring, and tracking each bite?
Tracking my food intake and modifying appropriately as my body changed was the first step I took in successfully losing 60 pounds, so why had it become such an enemy? After re-reading verses 25-33 the context these words were written was one meant to help keep its readers from worry as it says in verse 27 “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to his life?”
Tracking my food is what keeps me from worrying if I have over eaten. This type of worrying in the past has left me depriving myself by keeping an ever-growing list of things I could not eat. Then ultimately, it would lead to guilt when I couldn’t adhere to my own rules.
So, as I pondered the inital question – ‘which of my desires were leading me to freedom and which to slavery’? My great “Aha”! moment came when I realized, I need these boundaries to be free.
I have a vast knowledge of the things I should and shouldn’t eat. I know by now what foods give me energy, and which drains me. I know which food mess with my psyche making me moody and unmotivated. So why is it so difficult to choose what’s best for me? Because I am missing two key components: accountability and boundaries. This blog may be me just talking to myself, but even if I see that 1 person has read it, even if they didn’t hit the ‘like’ button, it keeps me accountable. I work on setting boundaries almost daily. I work on creating boundaries that keep me healthy and sane rather than those that keep me tied down and obsessive. THAT is where I need to find balance!
Let me tell you that I can not just ‘wing it’ when it comes to my health. I need prepping, and pre-cooking, and preparing because, by default, I’m multi-tasking almost every moment of my day. I need goals to keep me focused, my handy tips and tricks to pull from, and daily preparation to keep me on point with my goals.
At times the only thing I feel I can cling to is an unwillingness to give up. I have to shift some of my priorities as life happens, but I’m never willing to quit.